Teaching TheKiddo™: Lesson 4

Life Ain't Fair

You can thank your Grandma for this lesson. It's one she drilled into your daddy seemingly from the moment he left the womb. And unfortunately, it's true. The fact that life ain't fair also happens to be why your generation (and the one before you) doesn't play organized dodgeball as part of P.E. class. 

Surprisingly more painful than one would think.

When I was growing up, dodgeball was mandatory. You were either the hunter, standing at some randomly determined distance from a wall with the ubiquitous red-rubber ball that you were about to hurtle at your classmates. Or you were the hunted, standing with your back to the wall, staring doe-eyed at those who wanted to do physical harm to you. 

I was terrible at this game. Whether the hunter or the hunted, I didn't play well. 

I was short. And slow. And not terribly coordinated. And my hands were too small to hold the ball well for throwing. 

I was, however, smarter and more determined than my classmates. So I learned to catch the ball. This not only put the hunter who had targeted me out of the game, but gave me a shield with which to deflect incoming barrages. Best of all, after doing this a few times, I wasn't targeted as often. 

I was still lousy and was rarely (and most likely not ever) the ultimate winner. But I had earned respect and found a way to survive longer than others in my peer group. 

I'm actually saddened by the fact that you won't get to experience this. This lesson has been taken from you because someone decided to pretend that life was fair, and get dodgeball banned.

The fact, however, isn't as easy to ban as a game.

Some people are more physically gifted—bigger, stronger, faster, quicker, etc.

Some people are smarter.

Some people are more attractive.

Some people are born with more money.

Some people are born with more access and influence.

Some people will take what isn't theirs and have no conscience telling them they shouldn't.

In nature, as in dodgeball, the hunters focus on the slow; the weak; the sick; and the old. But just as in dodgeball, the hunters are in turn hunted by others (even within their own species to prove dominance and ensure the survival of the genetic material).  

Remember: No one is perfect.

No one has everything.

We do, however, get to choose how we deal with the situation and make the most of what we do have. Since you know life is not fair from the beginning, you have a leg up on those who think it is. 

Think of it as part of your unfair advantage over everyone else. 

Dining away from DFW: Johnnie's Charcoal Broiler

Johnnie's #9 well done

Johnnie's Charcoal Broiler serves what is is unquestionably the best hamburger I've ever had. Yes. I've eaten at all of the burger joints in Dallas (still have to make my way over to Love Shack in Fort Worth). None of the burgers here come close.


You may accuse me of being biased since I grew up in Edmond (a northern suburb of Oklahoma City, and one of the locations where Johnnie's is found). So I was a boy when I started savoring these delights often enough for them to be a treat, and not nearly as often as my cravings would have preferred.


My folks still live in Edmond. I've been known to agree to one of the random whimsical requests from TheKiddo™ to go see her grandparents just so we can eat at Johnnie's.


I prefer the #9. Pickles. Mayo. Lots of shredded cheese. And Johnnie sauce. Just looking at the photo is enough for me to wish there was one available right across the street.


If you happen to head north on I-35, be sure to go to Johnnie's. Heck, even if you're just planning to cross the Red River to gamble a bit, keep going. It's worth the drive.


When you get there, grab cheese fries, onion rings and some pie. You may hate yourself later (or me for making the calorie-laden recommendation), but your personal trainer, cardiologist and dentist will all welcome the extra work.

Snag some cheese fries and onion rings

Teaching TheKiddo™: Lesson 3

First, you must want to.


Like most lessons, it is as simple as one sentence and as complex as discovering a unified theory of everything.


In this case, however, the unified theory of how to accomplish everything is simple. Begin with desire.


I don't mean the kind of covetous desire that turns into the world-economy-shattering avarice that marked the first decade of the 21st Century. Nor the sort that causes shortcuts and crimes.


While this lesson could apply to any desire, you will (I hope) avoid the pettiness and vulgarity that some will see.


I am writing about a want that is both more personal and more profound. This is about the desire to do something. To be something. To have the passion to create a life of meaning.


Doctor. Ballerina. Veterinarian. Mommy. Artist. Only five and a half and already there is so much you want to be and do. This will change constantly until you find the true want. Or perhaps you won't. Either is a perfectly fine path to follow. As long as it's what you want.




You can do whatever you want. You can be whatever you want. You can achieve whatever you want.
I know you can. And I know you will. It's just that simple.


What isn't simple is what you'll need to do to achieve it. Nor is it simple for me to tell you what it is. The answer lies within you. Within your talents and gifts. Within your will to achieve.


I believe we are all born with talents and gifts. Sometimes they're used to get ahead. Sometimes they're wasted and squandered on meaninglessness. Sometimes they're unknown and untapped. I know already what I see as some of yours. You are smarter than me, kinder than me, and more alert to patterns and connections than I was at your age.




When you discover what you want, you will tap into your talents and gifts to accomplish it. You will rely on friends and family to help. You will read, and research, and discover a path to accomplish the goal. Then you'll set another.


And me? What do I want? The same things I've wanted since you were born. For you and Mami to be spectacularly happy, healthy, and protected.

Teaching TheKiddo™: Lesson 2

Choices Have Consequences.

Okay, Kiddo. This is a big one. It could have been the first lesson. In fact, I know this is one lesson you'll remember Mami telling you for most of your life. Because by the time you're old enough to read and understand this, you'll have heard the phrase every day for years and years.

It is three simple words: Choices Have Consequences.

So every decision you make, no matter how big or how small, creates a reaction.

In physics, Sir Isaac Newton stated it in his third law as basically: The mutual forces of action and reaction between two bodies are equal, opposite and collinear.

(As a side note: he wrote it in Latin. It's not a dead language. You should study it for at least one year—though we'll cover that in a later lesson.)

By the time you're old enough to read and understand this, you will know one immutable truth: Papi is no scientist. And I most certainly am not a physicist.

I do, however, understand the basic principal behind a few things. This is one of those things. And it applies to a lot more than science. Unfortunately, the reactions when not dealing with science have a tendency to be disproportionate rather than equal and opposite.

They may not be equal. They are, however, real.

If, for example, you call someone a name, the consequences are that you will hurt their feelings (and be in trouble with both Mami and Papi). So that's two reactions to one action. Not a fair trade. That's why lesson 1 was to be kind.

Not all choices are bad decisions like the choice to call someone a name. That is a bad decision and the consequence is punishment.

Not all consequences, however, are punishment.

If you choose to do your homework before being told, you'll probably get extra time to play.

Choice: do homework on your own. Consequence: more playtime. That's a pretty good deal if you think about it. You finish the onerous task that has to be done, and you get a reward for doing it.

Consequences can be positive or negative.

Choose wisely.

Teaching TheKiddo™: Lesson 1

Be Kind. Rewind.


Each and every day, I worry about TheKiddo™ and whether we're teaching her the right lessons. And I worry about what happens when we're not in the room, or within earshot.


Part of this is the simple fact that it's a daddy's job to worry. And I'm very good at my job. So now, I'm capturing some of the lessons here. Perhaps years from now TheKiddo™ will have a reminder of what we hoped she would learn from us.


The basis for everything I hope TheKiddo™ learns is that kindness is a good thing.


While "rewinding" has no meaning to TheKiddo™ since there are no tapes of any kind in her world, the need to be kind is greater than ever. Especially to those whom she will never see.


It only takes a moment to think of others, and act on that thought. With VHS rentals and the genesis of "Be Kind Rewind," it was just the push of a button. So simple. So helpful. So thoughtful.


The video-rental clerks didn't have to add to their chores.
Future customers didn't start viewing a movie in the middle or at the end.
Best of all, it cost nothing to do it.


Granted, kindness isn't always noticed. Nor is it always rewarded. In fact, I've had bosses tell me to not be a "nice guy." So you can guess how they treat their staffs. Like disposable pieces of meat that didn't warrant consideration of any kind. They were basically from the your-paycheck-is-your-reward school of thought.


I will never treat someone I manage in that manner. Nor will I ever suggest that kindness, respect or being nice was a character flaw.


Their belief seems to be that kindness is weakness. They are wrong. And I hope TheKiddo™ realizes just how wrong it is.


I want her to learn that it takes more courage, more thought and more understanding of others to be kind.


The world can be an ugly place. Adding to that ugliness is simple and stupid. All you have to do is act out of total self interest and indifference to anyone else. Thinking is completely optional at that point.


Take a moment to think.
Take a moment to consider actions.
Take a moment to spread some kindness.


Push the button and rewind the tape for the next user. You probably won't even meet the people you affect. That makes it more important to think about your actions. The consequences are often invisible to you.


(Note: I originally posted these lessons on tumblr. With the ability to sink this blog to Google+, I am now moving everything here.)

Trip To The Beach

TheBetterHalf® and I have never taken a vacation. Lately, however, TheKiddo™ has been pestering us to go to la playa. We've no idea what put the notion into her head. We are, however, certain of one fact: when TheKiddo™ has a notion, she's tenacious about turning it into a reality.

So TheBetterHalf® did a lot of research into Texas beaches and came up with a plan. It was decided that we'd drive down to the beaches at Port Aransas.

From Dallas, this was an interesting 7-hour drive (or so) primarily down US-77. It gave us a chance to talk, and sing (before now, I didn't understand what a blessing satellite radio could be), and play games.

Unlike road trips when I was a kid, technology makes trips a lot more interesting. The iPad in particular became quite a help in providing diversions for TheKiddo™. Plus, with free wi-fi at the Microtel in Aransas Pass, we had access to plenty of kid-friendly materials during the brief moments we were in the room.

For our first trip, we didn't stay in Port Aransas. The Microtel in Aransas Pass was very affordable, with clean rooms, and a great hot breakfast every morning. We highly recommend staying there as long as you don't require high-class resort accommodations.

When we go back, we'll be finding different accommodations. This has more to do with food options in the area than the actual hotel. With restaurant choices being rather limited, we're going to get a place that includes a kitchen. Yes, that means we'll be returning.

The beach at Port Aransas is a very fine sand. We had much more fun there than we did at the Rockport beach. Though at Rockport, you could wade out to the end of the piers before the water became deep. And as a bonus, you have to take a short ferry boat ride to get to Port Aransas. A definite extra piece of fun for entertaining TheKiddo™.

If you're in the DFW area and looking for a beach getaway, head for Port Aransas. It's more fun than you can imagine.


Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Annual City Arts Festival

Each year, the City Arts Festival (http://www.cityartsfestival.com) is an opportunity to enjoy and purchase works from area artists, sample some grub, let the kids create some art of their own, and just generally enjoy creativity in many forms. This year's event was no exception.

The Prudential was a major sponsor that was instrumental in ensuring the continuation of this event in a tough economy, and for that I'm grateful.

Can hardly wait for next year.

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Arts and Crafts at Lakeshore

Four stations full of stickers, and glitter, and glue. Makes for a good day creating Valentine's Day crafts for Mami and Papi.

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BeautiControl — New Product, Spa Fliers for Consultants

BeautiControl — "Achiever" November 2010

Home Depot Kids Workshops

Home Depot is starting the New Year right. They moved the Kids Workshops to later in the day (gives all of us the opportunity to sleep in a bit later).

Grab the kids, go have some fun. There are plenty of stores in DFW.
We're heading out now.