An inalienable fact perches itself before me daily, and forces my attention. Poking, prodding and imploring me to respond viscerally and instinctively. Calling into question my reality as a man and a dad. This particular, peculiar fact is sublimely simple, while maintaining an irascible inscrutability.
The fact in question: I don't spend enough time with TheKiddo™ on a daily basis.
Without much hesitation I could provide a litany of reasons, and the vast majority would seem reasonable, logical, and necessary. They would also be completely worthless in the face of a daunting reality that nothing is more precious than the time we can and should spend with those we love.
I've read enough articles, blog posts, or other musings on the topic of the importance of quality time to frequently deceive myself that I'm doing it right. To convince myself that when I'm present, she has my time and attention. To delude myself into the narcissistic view that I'm there for the moments she'll remember.
The singular, obvious, striking problem with that idea is that I'm completely wrong about quality time. So are you. And so is anyone else who thinks quality time is something that fundamentally exists in nature.
You can't plan quality time. There's simply too much chaos in life to allow for it.
The fact in question: I don't spend enough time with TheKiddo™ on a daily basis.
Without much hesitation I could provide a litany of reasons, and the vast majority would seem reasonable, logical, and necessary. They would also be completely worthless in the face of a daunting reality that nothing is more precious than the time we can and should spend with those we love.
I've read enough articles, blog posts, or other musings on the topic of the importance of quality time to frequently deceive myself that I'm doing it right. To convince myself that when I'm present, she has my time and attention. To delude myself into the narcissistic view that I'm there for the moments she'll remember.
The singular, obvious, striking problem with that idea is that I'm completely wrong about quality time. So are you. And so is anyone else who thinks quality time is something that fundamentally exists in nature.
You can't plan quality time. There's simply too much chaos in life to allow for it.
That romantic evening you planned with your significant other can be completely undone by a stray nail lying randomly in the road. A shredded tire and a call to AAA suddenly become much more urgent than the gelato you've been looking forward to sharing. Or a sudden fever by one of the kids makes it unlikely that you'll leave the house at all.
Those moments will create memories; however, it is unlikely they will be the fondest memories you have. Worse, when a little chaos is introduced, your preplanned quality time has suddenly become a chore, or something more akin to an unmitigated disaster.
Happily the converse can be equally true. Chore-like sojourns to the grocery store can be moments of discovery and delight when you encounter something you've never seen, or tell new jokes invoking peals of laughter.
So a new inalienable fact now perches before me: The more time you spend with those you love, the more quality you'll discover in your life.
So a new inalienable fact now perches before me: The more time you spend with those you love, the more quality you'll discover in your life.
